This blog was created in 31/12/22 as my journal entry to record my 30 kg weight loss for the next 3 months My weight now is: 101.7 kg.
Thursday, 9 February 2023
10/2/23 ^^^ My ultimate pleasure is to write my thoughts away
That's it... To simply write, write, and write. That is my Ikigai. I plan to outwrite my readers until I am the only reader of my writing.
I will write even when there are no more readers to this blog. This is the legacy I am leaving to myself.
Perhaps as a breadcrumb trail of my delirious mind. But really... It is nothing more than my thought reflection frozen in time.
I think I probably can score the highest as the person who writes the most in a blog.
Fuck... Who cares. As long as I don't have to spend money to blog, this is the most rewarding hobby.
I tried to stop blogging. It felt hollow. So I figured I am probably addicted to blogging. So what? We all are addicted to something sometime in our life. Might as well be addicted to the blog.
I had bread and kaya just now; hoping I can skip the Super Combo. Can't do that. It lingers in my head. Looks like I have to go for it.
#traxxfm I'm just introspecting:
6:00 am - Els time. My Gold Medal. My poison and my elixir.
I don't really get it. Why is it that she is playing the paradox game? Is it just a game or is she really a paradox?
#traxxfm
Thus, I am going to take it in good faith that you are a paradox. Just like Britney's song, "Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide"
I operate using mental models. I think Jinak Merpati suits you. Otherwise, you would have rejected me long ago.
#traxxfm This journey of mine is taking its toll. I think I am about to hit the wall. Progress is damn slow.
I need you... You are my inspiration. Among BLESS 33888 you are the Gold Medal.
#traxxfm I mean, I used to feel sad when you don't seem to care. Now I understand you more. You communicate through songs and cryptic messages.
So I am right to say that you love me but at the same time you are being careful.
#traxxfm I had been giving this a very serious thought. No matter what I have to hang on to the Secure Attachment. That is the only way I can stop being clinically depressed.
It's like having a drogue during a storm. It helps to stabilize the boat
#traxxfm After 22 years of dealing with mental illness, I come to one major realization; I am not crazy, it's just that my reality is different.
However, I have to accept that reality because that is my reality. I own it, or else I will go crazy LOL.
#traxxfm I am truly grateful that you are the nonjudgmental club. Although I do think that you fall for me on your first sight hahaha... I will always remember you called me sweetie.
I'm indebted to you and Sarah for bringing me out from the deep end.
#traxxfm Now that I figure you out, this arrangement is fine. Previously I was slightly disturbed thinking that you don't live up to your be kind credo.
Attached is my credo:
As I told you, I help countless of people using half of my personal wealth.
#traxxfm Hey, can I chip in one of my dad's jokes?
What is the difference between a sin and shame?
It’s a sin to stick it in and a shame to take it out.
#traxxfm A joke I told my kids:
Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says “Look, I’ve got a crack”
“No good telling me” replies the male egg “I’m not hard yet”
#traxxfm
I made one very silly mistake once. I was sitting next to a single young woman on the flight to Paris. Late that night I offered my shoulder for her to rest her head. Silly me, I grope her tits. She was shocked. Lucky me she didn't scream.
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